i made a sin.. i thought King was about to break my heart or rather he already did, but the thing is, my thoughts were wrong and bad. As i was being careful and taking good care for my wonderfully selfish heart, i asked him a desperately desperate question. I wanted to know whether he was being just sweet or he was being true.
And well, as a man should be; with their egos and all, he was furious. He asked me my compassions that i was supposed to show him. I was wrong to ask that, but i did. I just wanted to know the truth. I was afraid that i would be crushed by his wonderful sweet mouth.
As my punishment, King has not answered my calls, replied any of my messages and left me feeling guilty all alone. I take that he was angry, and that he now has already hate me for being such a jerk and ask silly questions. When I called a day after the damn question was being asked, he answered. He explained that he was sick, and that he was not angry or anything, and he was too tired and sick to talk. He said he is now at his grandmother's and he needs his rest. I said ok but still felt lonely and disregarded.
I thought he was lying to me. I wasted 3 days trying to figure out why he did. The girls are telling me to let him be. "a guy will run when you chase him, but he'll chase you back if you're not." they said he was just testing me. Even Azz said the same thing. Just let him be. I was hurt, bleeding, i think, for hoping ,ore than just a test. I was starting to think that he is trying to avoid me. And so, as a mortal genius, i sent him a message on his birthday;
Happy 20th Birthday. I'd love to give u a present, anything, even my heart if u haven't already break it to pieces.. Good luck in life, be happy in everything u do..take care of your health..ada jodoh jumpe lagi.. may Allah bless u.. bye kingkong.
xoxo
YOUR black
p/s: my dear, you dont have to avoid me. i'll go willingly, if u juz ask.. i'm juz a tip of finger away...
It has been what? 5 days now since he has not texted me, or called. I was scared, and still am. I miss him. A lot. And I am waiting for him, for his sweet and kind words, his mocks and weird compliments, his love of humour, his dreams and wishes, his promises that i wasn't really hoping that he'd keep, his queer questions that made me smile everytime he asked as if a boy asking why is the world round. He really made my heart jump, and i guess, for a very short time, at the least of my expectations, he made me love him!
Like the old Malays labels, love will make us uneasy. Makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah, semua tak kena. I think i'm having all of those stated above. Weird as it sounds, I don't think I am me now. He is all the way in Kuching, sick in bed, while i'm fretting about my very un-wonderful life being in love and hurt because of it here in Shah Alam. Damn I feel bad!
My dear kingkong, I really hope you would read this. And please dont be sick!!! Girls, if you guys are reading, I am sure that each one of you are having a good laugh. Well, laugh all you want, I am still not me... but i hope you would help me somehow.Hmmm..
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Admirer
As a girl who has just broken up in a relationship, she should be crying her heart out as if there's no love is as good as his, or something like that, especially when she was the one who got dumped, no? Not me.. nope.
Hehe..Well, the truth is, I've just broken up with whoever, Azz. We were good friends, turned scandals (as if) , turned couple, then...we hung up. The only real relationship that we were having all these while was friendship. He is a very nice person who like me, not very good in having a relationship (meaning bf and gf). We got together just so that i could use his name as my protection, to tell others that I already have a bf, and he was using mine also. We rarely called or texted or ym-ed or having any contact at all. weird kan? So to say, we were just playing laa..
However, for the last few days before we took our own paths, he reminded me to find a boyfriend of my own. An advice I found hard to follow. He said that as a kinda pretty girl, it should have been easy for me to look for one.. a guy for my own. The only thing that was missing was me. I'm not even looking for any. I find it hard to actually stick with one guy especially if his hands were starting to wander my bodyparts. I just could never tolerate THAT. Even holding hands. Not unless he is my husband.
Well, actually, after just an hour being a loner, (blah la!), I received a phone call from a person I knew as King. He is a senior in my campus who befriends with my classmates; the boys only. King eventually filled me with annoyance since i first came to know him. However, this time, he didnt call me to annoy, but to explain. He said that he has never fallen for any girl since ever. I found it very hard to believe until I made my own investigation and voila- it's true! He also mentioned that he has fallen for me since the first time he saw me and he expressed his feeling towards me by saying how lovely i looked to him, how cute and so on. I really find it hard to believe as someone as annoying as him could have a crush on me!
His friends once mentioned somethings about him that he could be more than just an annoyance. He is a well knowned popular-JPS(jawantankuasa perwakilan surau) -MPP-Pembantu Mahasiswa-Ketua Blok Asrama-Ketua KIK kolej-President of his Course Club-guy and lots more! And another thing is that, he has never ever dated anyone at all! They said that King could be a little bit too harsh on girls as he has no definite idea on how to treat a girl. All he knows that a person should be who they are (true) but i don't think he has ever learned that a girl's heart is easier to break than to mend. Poor King.
Well back to his phone call, he asked me for a date. He said that he won't be seeing me for quite sometime so he was hoping that I could see him. I was partially heartbroken and partially bored and partially being pushed to go on a date with him so that I could buy a cake for my roommate who was having a birthday that day. So i agreed. He walked me to KFC at the back of our campus and guess what, he 'kutuk' me the whole day! He commented about me being as black as 'bontot kuali' and he pointed that my armpit was wet from sweating and he annoyed me by saying that i could not cook! How rude was THAT? Kak Dee made some conclusions from his unmatured actions;
a) the guy was nervous for his #1 date, and so, to cover his flaws, he 'kutuk' me instead of being romantically trying to be sweet.
b) The guy was head over heels with me as he knows so much about me than i know about myself.
c) he's a newbie in the dating bussiness, he haven't learned to be smooth with girls and things like that.
d) i'm his first love/crush/whoever special in his life (so he said)
The guy was seriously nice but clueless. If it hadn't been me the one he asked for a date with or if I don't know him at all, I would have just slap him in his face for being too rude. After a very hard time scrubbing and brushing his acts off after the weird date that day, he finally relaxed. He became nicer, friendlier, sweeter (that's the most important part) and cuter. His actions were mainly learned or should i say, picked from movies, love movies that is. He loves the romantics and the sweets and the cute scenes from his favourite movies that he practically learning to act like that. Sweet right?
On my last day, the 16th, he gave me 2 of his favourite movies; Sepi and Love Actually. Sepi was, well, sad. Love Actually, on the other hand, is a very sweet movie. He also gave me his pictures, hoping for an exchange with my pictures along with a love note.. Oooooh...
So now, no, I'm not hooked up, coupled or anything. He is still in the phase of learning so I think I should give him a chance, right? Owh, he just texted me..
"from: King kong
message: damn...i miss u girl..
date: 17 november 2008
time: 10.00pm"
he is waaaaayyyy head over heels with me!!
Hehe..Well, the truth is, I've just broken up with whoever, Azz. We were good friends, turned scandals (as if) , turned couple, then...we hung up. The only real relationship that we were having all these while was friendship. He is a very nice person who like me, not very good in having a relationship (meaning bf and gf). We got together just so that i could use his name as my protection, to tell others that I already have a bf, and he was using mine also. We rarely called or texted or ym-ed or having any contact at all. weird kan? So to say, we were just playing laa..
However, for the last few days before we took our own paths, he reminded me to find a boyfriend of my own. An advice I found hard to follow. He said that as a kinda pretty girl, it should have been easy for me to look for one.. a guy for my own. The only thing that was missing was me. I'm not even looking for any. I find it hard to actually stick with one guy especially if his hands were starting to wander my bodyparts. I just could never tolerate THAT. Even holding hands. Not unless he is my husband.
Well, actually, after just an hour being a loner, (blah la!), I received a phone call from a person I knew as King. He is a senior in my campus who befriends with my classmates; the boys only. King eventually filled me with annoyance since i first came to know him. However, this time, he didnt call me to annoy, but to explain. He said that he has never fallen for any girl since ever. I found it very hard to believe until I made my own investigation and voila- it's true! He also mentioned that he has fallen for me since the first time he saw me and he expressed his feeling towards me by saying how lovely i looked to him, how cute and so on. I really find it hard to believe as someone as annoying as him could have a crush on me!
His friends once mentioned somethings about him that he could be more than just an annoyance. He is a well knowned popular-JPS(jawantankuasa perwakilan surau) -MPP-Pembantu Mahasiswa-Ketua Blok Asrama-Ketua KIK kolej-President of his Course Club-guy and lots more! And another thing is that, he has never ever dated anyone at all! They said that King could be a little bit too harsh on girls as he has no definite idea on how to treat a girl. All he knows that a person should be who they are (true) but i don't think he has ever learned that a girl's heart is easier to break than to mend. Poor King.
Well back to his phone call, he asked me for a date. He said that he won't be seeing me for quite sometime so he was hoping that I could see him. I was partially heartbroken and partially bored and partially being pushed to go on a date with him so that I could buy a cake for my roommate who was having a birthday that day. So i agreed. He walked me to KFC at the back of our campus and guess what, he 'kutuk' me the whole day! He commented about me being as black as 'bontot kuali' and he pointed that my armpit was wet from sweating and he annoyed me by saying that i could not cook! How rude was THAT? Kak Dee made some conclusions from his unmatured actions;
a) the guy was nervous for his #1 date, and so, to cover his flaws, he 'kutuk' me instead of being romantically trying to be sweet.
b) The guy was head over heels with me as he knows so much about me than i know about myself.
c) he's a newbie in the dating bussiness, he haven't learned to be smooth with girls and things like that.
d) i'm his first love/crush/whoever special in his life (so he said)
The guy was seriously nice but clueless. If it hadn't been me the one he asked for a date with or if I don't know him at all, I would have just slap him in his face for being too rude. After a very hard time scrubbing and brushing his acts off after the weird date that day, he finally relaxed. He became nicer, friendlier, sweeter (that's the most important part) and cuter. His actions were mainly learned or should i say, picked from movies, love movies that is. He loves the romantics and the sweets and the cute scenes from his favourite movies that he practically learning to act like that. Sweet right?
On my last day, the 16th, he gave me 2 of his favourite movies; Sepi and Love Actually. Sepi was, well, sad. Love Actually, on the other hand, is a very sweet movie. He also gave me his pictures, hoping for an exchange with my pictures along with a love note.. Oooooh...
So now, no, I'm not hooked up, coupled or anything. He is still in the phase of learning so I think I should give him a chance, right? Owh, he just texted me..
"from: King kong
message: damn...i miss u girl..
date: 17 november 2008
time: 10.00pm"
he is waaaaayyyy head over heels with me!!
Lala's Cuti; Makan??
my first day of cuti is like, hmmm, penat! I decided to follow my deares dad to go back kampung, Johor. We went there in the morning and then balik by petang. Giler x?
My grandmom just died and the 'harta pusaka's managements, well, lets just say that my family is still a bit blurr about them. We've just found out that my late grandfather actually owned a lot of tanah in Tangkak. So, in order to manage the whole tanah thing, my dad has to go to Tangkak -not far from our place, Muar- to settle it all up.
Since we haven't been there for quite sometime, we visitted my dad's aunties, Tokchu, Tokchik and Tok Uda. Tok Chu really reminded me of my arwah Maktok. They really look alike only Tokchu is darker. Tokchu served us with real great food; Mee Bandung Muar- a specialty for which no other state in Malaysia can make Mee Bandung as delicious a a Johorian, particularly Muar-, for lunch was nasi berlauk Keladi Masak Pindang, Telur Dadar, and Ikan Sambal plus a little something from Tokchik, Ikan Keli Masak Lemak, and for tea was Kuih Telinga Kera or some people might call them Kuih Telinga Keling, and Keladi Goreng.
Oh my goodness, everything was very delicious! I had no idea i could eat that much! (bluffing; i can eat that much!). Gahaha.. Well, G'ah and Ngegeh, I'll let you guys see some pictures later, now i'll have to mandik!! Byebye!! Chalo Betteh!!
My grandmom just died and the 'harta pusaka's managements, well, lets just say that my family is still a bit blurr about them. We've just found out that my late grandfather actually owned a lot of tanah in Tangkak. So, in order to manage the whole tanah thing, my dad has to go to Tangkak -not far from our place, Muar- to settle it all up.
Since we haven't been there for quite sometime, we visitted my dad's aunties, Tokchu, Tokchik and Tok Uda. Tok Chu really reminded me of my arwah Maktok. They really look alike only Tokchu is darker. Tokchu served us with real great food; Mee Bandung Muar- a specialty for which no other state in Malaysia can make Mee Bandung as delicious a a Johorian, particularly Muar-, for lunch was nasi berlauk Keladi Masak Pindang, Telur Dadar, and Ikan Sambal plus a little something from Tokchik, Ikan Keli Masak Lemak, and for tea was Kuih Telinga Kera or some people might call them Kuih Telinga Keling, and Keladi Goreng.
Oh my goodness, everything was very delicious! I had no idea i could eat that much! (bluffing; i can eat that much!). Gahaha.. Well, G'ah and Ngegeh, I'll let you guys see some pictures later, now i'll have to mandik!! Byebye!! Chalo Betteh!!
cuti da...
hari tok first day cuti...sangat bosan rasanya....nasib ada maim, nya mok bwk kmk orang kuar..bilik solat a.k.a surau masih dalam proses..pasal exam, rasa2nya boleh kot lepas semua..insyaALLAH..doakan la g'ah..
Thursday, November 13, 2008
sarawak
pagi tadik, g'ah tyk lala, ada x nya baca blog yg g'ah postkan..nya kata english g'ah terok..huhu..jd, g'ah decide mok tulis blog pake bhs sarawak jak..hehe..kalo x fhm, jgn la segan2 nak tny,ek..hehe..
g'ah baruk jak balit dari teman cdak burn n farah anta beg cdak ke rumah..ayah ada kat umah tek..nya tgh angkat kayu, sbb ayah tambah bilit solat kat blakang..makin besarla rumah kmkorg..makin byk la yang terpaksa dicuci mun dah nak raya..huhu..g'h rasa ayah mesti dapat inspirasi mok buat bilit solat ya daripada bilit solat kt rumah udak..n rumah kmkorg mmg akan jd tempat untuk org2 yg on da way balit pendam singgah soalt mun dah nak abis or masuk waktu..bagus juak la..byk pahala..huhu..
juz now i realsed that my dad did so much for us,the whole family.bila la ayah nak transfer balit ctok ho..g'ah sebenarnya kesian tgk ayah terpaksa ulang alik dari sarikei ke rumah setiap hujung minggu..weekend kan sepatutnya untuk berehat, tp nya terpaksa drive selama 5 jam untuk balit rumah..jumaat petang nya balit rumah, ahad mlm nya balit sarikei..hurm...kelak la g'ah tulis agik,g'ah mok pegi belajar lok, esok da paper fluid..good luck 4 EHD3B...daa..
g'ah baruk jak balit dari teman cdak burn n farah anta beg cdak ke rumah..ayah ada kat umah tek..nya tgh angkat kayu, sbb ayah tambah bilit solat kat blakang..makin besarla rumah kmkorg..makin byk la yang terpaksa dicuci mun dah nak raya..huhu..g'h rasa ayah mesti dapat inspirasi mok buat bilit solat ya daripada bilit solat kt rumah udak..n rumah kmkorg mmg akan jd tempat untuk org2 yg on da way balit pendam singgah soalt mun dah nak abis or masuk waktu..bagus juak la..byk pahala..huhu..
juz now i realsed that my dad did so much for us,the whole family.bila la ayah nak transfer balit ctok ho..g'ah sebenarnya kesian tgk ayah terpaksa ulang alik dari sarikei ke rumah setiap hujung minggu..weekend kan sepatutnya untuk berehat, tp nya terpaksa drive selama 5 jam untuk balit rumah..jumaat petang nya balit rumah, ahad mlm nya balit sarikei..hurm...kelak la g'ah tulis agik,g'ah mok pegi belajar lok, esok da paper fluid..good luck 4 EHD3B...daa..
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
holla...
This is my first time writing a blog. when my friend showed me her blog, i was kinda igored it. now, she made our account here, i'm kinda interested to contributed something. rite now, i'm in the middle of final examination week. i have two more papers to go before the semester break begin. i hate semester break..it's bcoz it'll be damn boring without my friends around.all my friends will be back at their home..huhu..i'm gonna miz u guys..
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
how to start ek??
this is the first time blogging.. us girls trying to start blogging. One thing in common about us is that; We're HOT!! :P
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