Lala in Love

i made a sin.. i thought King was about to break my heart or rather he already did, but the thing is, my thoughts were wrong and bad. As i was being careful and taking good care for my wonderfully selfish heart, i asked him a desperately desperate question. I wanted to know whether he was being just sweet or he was being true.

And well, as a man should be; with their egos and all, he was furious. He asked me my compassions that i was supposed to show him. I was wrong to ask that, but i did. I just wanted to know the truth. I was afraid that i would be crushed by his wonderful sweet mouth.

As my punishment, King has not answered my calls, replied any of my messages and left me feeling guilty all alone. I take that he was angry, and that he now has already hate me for being such a jerk and ask silly questions. When I called a day after the damn question was being asked, he answered. He explained that he was sick, and that he was not angry or anything, and he was too tired and sick to talk. He said he is now at his grandmother's and he needs his rest. I said ok but still felt lonely and disregarded.

I thought he was lying to me. I wasted 3 days trying to figure out why he did. The girls are telling me to let him be. "a guy will run when you chase him, but he'll chase you back if you're not." they said he was just testing me. Even Azz said the same thing. Just let him be. I was hurt, bleeding, i think, for hoping ,ore than just a test. I was starting to think that he is trying to avoid me. And so, as a mortal genius, i sent him a message on his birthday;

Happy 20th Birthday. I'd love to give u a present, anything, even my heart if u haven't already break it to pieces.. Good luck in life, be happy in everything u do..take care of your health..ada jodoh jumpe lagi.. may Allah bless u.. bye kingkong.

xoxo
YOUR black
p/s: my dear, you dont have to avoid me. i'll go willingly, if u juz ask.. i'm juz a tip of finger away...

It has been what? 5 days now since he has not texted me, or called. I was scared, and still am. I miss him. A lot. And I am waiting for him, for his sweet and kind words, his mocks and weird compliments, his love of humour, his dreams and wishes, his promises that i wasn't really hoping that he'd keep, his queer questions that made me smile everytime he asked as if a boy asking why is the world round. He really made my heart jump, and i guess, for a very short time, at the least of my expectations, he made me love him!

Like the old Malays labels, love will make us uneasy. Makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah, semua tak kena. I think i'm having all of those stated above. Weird as it sounds, I don't think I am me now. He is all the way in Kuching, sick in bed, while i'm fretting about my very un-wonderful life being in love and hurt because of it here in Shah Alam. Damn I feel bad!

My dear kingkong, I really hope you would read this. And please dont be sick!!! Girls, if you guys are reading, I am sure that each one of you are having a good laugh. Well, laugh all you want, I am still not me... but i hope you would help me somehow.Hmmm..